Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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