She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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