i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we made out on top of his cat.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This baby is an asshole
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize