I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize