Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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