i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Iβm on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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