She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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