my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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