i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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