Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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