My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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