i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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