Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize