I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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