i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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