I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
is it fun? or sober?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize