I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize