I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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