She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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