Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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