Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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