I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
sarcasm needs its own font
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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