flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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