Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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