Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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