Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize