I want to make a zoo with you.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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