I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
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Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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