Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize