weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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