so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
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It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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