I wish I could punch you in the face.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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