Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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