we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
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Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
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The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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