Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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