i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize