I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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