Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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