I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize