Betty ford says i'm here all night
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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