I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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