You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize