I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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