Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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