I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
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As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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