so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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