u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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