I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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