I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Crop dusting thru forever 21
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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