Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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